An Appreciation of a Life Well Lived

Loyalty is what comes to mind when thinking of Dave Cushman

They called him DFC.

And when thinking of Dave Cushman, the word that comes to mind is loyalty.

He must have learned the value of loyalty when he attended Gonzaga College High School in the middle of the tumultuous 1960’s.

Dave graduated Gonzaga in 1968, a year best known in DC for its riots and the utter destruction of the neighborhood surrounding the oldest all-boys Jesuit school in the nation’s Capitol.

Gonzaga survived because of its reputation for helping its neighbors in times of need, but still for the young white kids who came into the city on a daily basis, learning the value of your friends and classmates must have seared into his memory.

Dave’s brother Mike attended rival St. Johns, which was an all-boys military school. Mike would serve in the US Army, becoming a General in the process.

Watching the interplay of the Gonzaga graduate with his brother the St. John’s graduate always amused me. They were from the same parents, and they obviously loved each other very much, but they had different approaches to life. One common thread though was loyalty. They were loyal to each other and to their friends.

I got to know Dave Cushman through my great friend Topher Cushman. Becoming friends with Topher Cushman almost inevitably meant becoming great friends with Dave Cushman because that’s how they rolled.

Topher’s Dad attended Gonzaga and so did Topher’s son, Jack. Not sure where Jack will go to college, but his grandfather would certainly be ok with him attending Villanova where he attended. Watching Dave Cushman watch the Villanova Wildcats play basketball, especially during the NCAA tournament was to understand pure loyalty distilled into one game. He gave no quarter to the other team, no matter who they were playing. And pity the poor ref who would make a call against his beloved Wildcats.

My wife is a Villanova grad (as is Pope Leo), so we always had that cosmic connection.

I really got to know Dave during the annual Sweet 16 golf tournament that he hosted in Pinehurst, North Carolina during the NCAA basketball tournament (that's where I got to witness him watching Villanova play basketball). And it was there where I really understood the value of loyalty and the Cushmans.

It is hard to describe the Sweet 16 golf tournament. Golf is not the major part of the event, although golf is certainly played by most of the attendees, with varying levels of success. It is really mostly a reunion of Dave Cushman’s friends, family and other hangers on (including me).

The seminal event during the weekend is the steak dinner, where everybody is required to bring their own bottle of wine and be ready to give a speech. Some wine is really good and some speeches are equally powerful. Some, on the other hand, aren’t.

The attendees, ranging in ages from 25 to 75, from all parts of the country (Oklahoma, New York, Virginia, North Carolina and who knows where else), break bread, eat steak, drink wine, share tall tales, and basically become loyal friends to one another, even if they had just met that weekend. The common thread is Dave Cushman and his brand of loyalty.

It really is the most remarkable thing I have ever been a part of. And I think it all started because of Cushman’s attendance at Gonzaga College High School in the what might have been the most dangerous time for our country and for that school.

Dave Cushman had a fierce loyalty to his friends (new and old), his faith, his family and his country. In fact, starting off every steak dinner, we would pledge allegiance to the flag and have a presentation of the colors (led by his brother, the General).

A couple of years ago, Dave discovered he had cancer. He went through some painful treatments at Duke University hospital, and he seemed to be on the mend. Indeed, he played golf with Topher and his grandson Jack over this 4th of July holiday, and drove his car during the Southern Pines Independence Day parade.

Sadly, he died earlier this week. The cancer took him away, but nothing will ever take away what he left behind, a legacy of laughter, love and loyalty that will be remembered by his family and friends for years to come. Rest in peace Dave Cushman. You fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith. And you have taught us all the value of loyalty. Job well done.