Next week: The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift’s new double album, will shoot to number one on all the charts.
Next month: Ten Democrats will mysteriously not appear to vote on a motion to vacate the chair, and Mike Johnson will survive the MTG-led coup attempt.
Next year: Taylor Swift will drop another album on April 19th, called the TK Department.
Next decade: Donald Trump’s big beautiful wall on the southwestern border of the United States will finally be completed.
Next election: Patrick Morrissey will win the Republican gubernatorial primary in West Virginia.